I can honestly say that I saw none, absolutely none, of what 2015 would hold as 2014 danced away and I sipped champagne while the clock struck midnight.
I cried more in 2015 than I thought I could bear. I’ve laughed more in 2015 than I thought was possible. I fell deeper in love with life, living, and people who saw me for who I was and decided to stick around– decided I was worth it. I also just plain fell in love.
A year ago, as we rang in 2015 with confetti and too many bottle-rockets, I gave myself a few life rules. I said that mistakes need not be fatal– hardships teach you things. I said that people were more important than achievements or possessions could ever be. I said I would learn to use a semi colon, but I actually already knew how to do that so, instead, I taught someone else. And finally, I said that I would find love.
Each of these was fulfilled in their own interesting way. Mistakes I made a year ago were finally reconciled and I put one foot in front of the other and carried on with what I knew I should be doing.
I went through much pain and heartache to ensure a future of babies on my hips, wiping little bottoms, kissing boo-boos, and hearing “mommy” in squeaky, little voices. Those babies will be my greatest achievements– they will be what I hold dear.
I watched kids bursting with personality think hard and long and get better at things that didn’t come naturally and I celebrated with them when they passed a hard test and, yes, finally mastered the oxford comma. It was a proud moment.
It came. It had always been here, actually, but it grew exponentially, in ways and directions I never knew love could grow. At my lowest, there was love that pulled me up and said, “It’s not over yet. Don’t give up.” At the most painful, there was love that said, “Just remember that it’s worth it. It’s all worth it.” At the most apprehensive moments, there was love that whispered, “Follow your dream. You can do it.” And in my most unsuspecting moment, love came and said, “Can we do life together, me and you?”
All of these moments, coming together like beautiful pieces of some divine puzzle, are what my 2015 was composed of. Would I ask for all of it again? Probably not. Would I give any of it back? Not a chance.
2015 meant I saw the baby take her first steps. It meant I played tic-tac-toe with a precious Nicaraguan school girl. It meant I taught the little one his colors, shapes, and alphabet. 2015 meant I reconnected with old friends, met new ones, and dove further into relationships with others. It meant I experienced healing from the great Healer and victory because my God never fails. 2015 meant fulfillment and answers to prayers.
2015 left me wanting more– more life, more love, more surprises, more children, more joy, more relationships, more worship, more prayer– just more. More of whatever He wants to give me. Nothing from His hand will disappoint me. He’s a giver of good gifts, a good Father.
So, if 2016 is anything like this year– and also if you’ve read this far– I say bring it on. It’s another adventure.
A splendid adventure.